# Kultura > Letërsia shqiptare > Krijime në gjuhë të huaja >  The flames of flesh

## qyfyri

I burned her, body and soul unhampered by the leftovers of the Westfalian status quo.  She burns slightly reddish, turning her flesh into a never ending pile of consumed minds.  She lies asleep in the scorching heat, undisturbed by the commotion and the tears, true only to her beauty, perplexed by the incessant pain that seems to overtake her surroundings.  She burns today, conscientious of her ever present goal.  She knew this and never doubted it, but I kept myself up with hope, idiotic as I tend to be.  But she knew all along, that one day I would be sure to watch her burn, filling the air with her scent and escaping the confinement her body imposed on her.
I flee this scene and close the last door that separates me from the rest of my troubled self.  Concoctions are less than welcome on a day like this, nevertheless the feeling that all of this is as barren as the asphalt I breathe, seems to be overwhelming enough to pull me back into the uncertainty of self.  I have sinned and failed to see her fully undressed.  Glorious details that I never intended to notice twirl at a mind bending speed.she floats and I scream for a slower unfolding of eventsshe knew and always smiled at my naiveté, completely convinced that one day I would be able to see her storm out of my rib cage and laugh out loud.  I tortured myself for a bit of comprehension and she never said a word, my beautiful coquette!  What can I say that will reveal, without a hint of confusion, my own insanity when the dogs bark up the same tree?  What can I control with this blood of mine that is left for me to see? When does this end, if it ever will?  Could one see the truth for what it was or for what it tends to be?  Where can I prepare myself for such occurrences?  Ive got to straighten all of it in a blink of an eye if any of this is to make any sense.
And yet she strolls in my tears, slowly passing her soul through my lips leaving me with the sensation that the salty taste is nothing but her love slowly dissolivinginto my wanting mouth.  She strolls.and I open my mouth to taste her again and again. I want to go with her but the gates are locked, and she does not want me to go with her.  She waves goodbye and I bang my head on the iron breasted guards that seem hollow.  She never knew the extent of my idiocy, but she knows now how much I quenched for her scent.  Stay a while  I scream  a bit more, I am parched.  She smiles and turns to look at my madness.  Silly  she sings  no more do you need me here than I need another lecture on the evils of excess.  I lower my head and my shoulders want to leave me, my chest fights me with every inch of its existence..and I can do nothing but smile.  She knows, and I still dont.

She leaves full spirited, woman, mine!

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## Larsus

_
I burned her, body and soul unhampered by the leftovers of the Westfalian status quo. She burns slightly reddish, turning her flesh into a never ending pile of consumed minds. She lies asleep in the scorching heat, undisturbed by the commotion and the tears, true only to her beauty, perplexed by the incessant pain that seems to overtake her surroundings. She burns today, conscientious of her ever present goal. She knew this and never doubted it, but I kept myself up with hope, idiotic as I tend to be. But she knew all along, that one day I would be sure to watch her burn, filling the air with her scent and escaping the confinement her body imposed on her.
I flee this scene and close the last door that separates me from the rest of my troubled self. Concoctions are less than welcome on a day like this, nevertheless the feeling that all of this is as barren as the asphalt I breathe, seems to be overwhelming enough to pull me back into the uncertainty of self. I have sinned and failed to see her fully undressed. Glorious details that I never intended to notice twirl at a mind bending speed.she floats and I scream for a slower unfolding of eventsshe knew and always smiled at my naiveté, completely convinced that one day I would be able to see her storm out of my rib cage and laugh out loud. I tortured myself for a bit of comprehension and she never said a word, my beautiful coquette! What can I say that will reveal, without a hint of confusion, my own insanity when the dogs bark up the same tree? What can I control with this blood of mine that is left for me to see? When does this end, if it ever will? Could one see the truth for what it was or for what it tends to be? Where can I prepare myself for such occurrences? Ive got to straighten all of it in a blink of an eye if any of this is to make any sense.
And yet she strolls in my tears, slowly passing her soul through my lips leaving me with the sensation that the salty taste is nothing but her love slowly dissolivinginto my wanting mouth. She strolls.and I open my mouth to taste her again and again. I want to go with her but the gates are locked, and she does not want me to go with her. She waves goodbye and I bang my head on the iron breasted guards that seem hollow. She never knew the extent of my idiocy, but she knows now how much I quenched for her scent. Stay a while  I scream  a bit more, I am parched. She smiles and turns to look at my madness. Silly  she sings  no more do you need me here than I need another lecture on the evils of excess. I lower my head and my shoulders want to leave me, my chest fights me with every inch of its existence..and I can do nothing but smile. She knows, and I still dont.

She leaves full spirited, woman, mine!_
......................................

Because all night I was talking to you and you were there, the way I want you to, the way you are so unbearably irresistible

How much I wished I could talk to you right now.in this very moment... your phone number is saved on the other email and my cell phone is just in the other room, I just have to make two movements, or simply send this email to you now, in the very end just type your address and see what is going to happen, as simple as that...well not really. I don't want any regrets after, although the right excuse for regrets it would be if I dont call you now. No, I will just postpone it, may be someday later I will have the courage to just drop a word and say Hi hope you are fine, since I lack the courage of hearing your voice and my pride would ever never allow me to call you..I wish you could have done this already but you are taking so much comfort on your pain, paying your debts which aren't really yours, there just societal traps, morality bullshit that we praise continually ignoring in the process that we are damaging ourselves so deeply......

you are....you aren't..

Right now, I am so aware of the expression "watch out what you wish for" Personally I think it applies at you too, there are times when you get way much more than you can take, and the situation gets painfully out of your hands, and you are just stumbed...because there is part of it that you wished it so badly but not in this way, not in this manner, not at this time....is there ever a right time? 
..
_JUST LIVE, FULL SPIRITED,....MINE...MINE..MINE_
P.S. kjo eshte nje nga himnet me te ndjeshme ne kete forum, ever...

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## shigjeta

Ju lutem mos dilni jashte komenteve letrare

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## Henri

_Burn the sky
burn it bue_
I'll be drinking the flames
burning to the bone 
a fistfull of ashes
inside you...

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## Larsus

_A piece of my heart goes away, then another, and then another..till all of it is away, every time I want to/say I love you..so hard and yet so light, so vital. my heart opens up fully and in that second  its gone to another place, another ..home  for herand I remain shocked, confused in my naked soul without the beats, surprised, almost being in the air without any sense of reality..quasi empty ..vulnerable, a lot..delicate.untouchable, and transparent ..to the extent that the next movement, the next breath, the next disequiliber of air balance in our distance will dissolve the whole of me into millions of invisible pieces..that much delicateuntil the next second only for having the sensation reoccurring again and again the next time I want to whisper to you..i..i..i.. just love you..back to the mysterious, great hole of heartless, heart-gone existence..can you really breathe when you know your heart is gone? I guess this metaphysical status is possible, rare, very rare, extremely rare, but so painfully, divinely, graciously possible_

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## Larsus

_ Sometimes love hurts.its it way of reminding you where it started without the beautiful façade though. It goes through your mind as a virus, a hidden inactive one that get mixed with all the perceptive rudiments of your being so far until it finds its ways through the darkness to the most unprotected fiber of your heart, and right there it messes with genesis. Its the beginning of an end, the beginning where real naming ends, where feelings and thoughts have no order and uncontrollable as such hit you hard in so many unknown ways..

 And yet, you are so juicy, filled with the most resourceful juice of life, the best healing medicine, you tell me so much that it doesnt even translate into human communication for expressing it. What does it feel to be one, the one..in ashes and bones, pain and joy, possession and freedom, rich, full, complete for being given, everything is yours and at the same time nothing belongs to you ..the feeling that has it all 
..................................................  ...............................


   How much of a stranger can you be to a lover? Not much-would answer you, quietly without having any slightest idea of all the at jazz in the air, yet perceptively, intuitively going for the right answer (guess experience in humans, not the best of them, still on bodies, faces, reactions, gives you an easy hand)..
	And there I stand, distracted from your dubious, foggy certainty that I so much want to mix in and have the clear blue sky finally come up within us. It cant without the rain in my heart. Its the law, even if laws are made to be broken, either way, raining is inevitable. 

It rains in my place..softer sometimes, sweetly the others, painfully in all the cases. Its the gift certificate of love, the one that you are happy to have it, granted without being aware of the distance you have to go to deserve it..sure, there are choices..all our life is a choice..or not choices exist in reality.or maybe notchoices are given in the last pages of an unread book..or maybe not.we only think we have choices, but we dont have anything..whatever seems to be the other choice is just a big disgusted lie_

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## kulla

oh larsus, my hurting larsus, my painfull larsus, my lovely and sweet and innocent and little and sorrow, larsus! you're not a silentium amoris anymore, o my freed fire, larsus! you're not a squeak, you're not a voice, you're not a song, you're not a hymn! you are the trembling roar of a sleeping volcano that was itching to erupt inside you! you are in love! and for that, I am in love with you!

and a music, the rhythm of which is hihihihi hihihihi hihihihi, is playing inside me.

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## Larsus

_Sufferings, sufferings from the sweet little word that I whisper until the next moment of your touch

Dont know what to expect next time when I am again with you.. Is this where we belong..in each others arms? Ironic enough, two rational human beings refuse to use logic, once that is out of the way , things are magnificent, faboulous, shiny, it's magic in the air...until the next breach of that protection of love where lovers are not lovers but thoughts, deductions, calculations, results of  what me and you have preserved throughout life.. not too much to worry though,confusion is left somewhere in the peripheries of my brain that quits his job, brain thinking is dismissed, fired, does not exist any more.  

Ceased brain, not allowed to function somehow manages to order the body ..as under a very strong, uncontrollable spell I come to you..still confused in the peripheries, still asking  for what I dont know and maybe never going to know, no answers to the questions unasked 

Slowly, I peace myself in your arms and magically witness the soul talk ..something I cant even grasp or define, simply feel it, strongly, uncontrollably, beautifully, a foggy feeling of soul meetings .and you wonder what is happening to us  while I smile to this, the undefined, timeless uncontrollable feeling that I leave it every time I depart from you only to refind it, rediscover it next time ..I used to make fun of a german expression "every time  I depart from you is death and everytime I see you again it is resurrection" not anymore..my soul would leave me forever if I did....and I would be this name, with a SSN, address, cell phone and a perfectly normal breath-taking being that limits itself to the existence of organs....guess what my love? I'd rather be in your arms, happily forgetting about the rest of the world, the date, or the name of the place ..why would I need to know such enourmous useless information, when all I ever want is you, your breath...your smell.._

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## ChuChu

> _ with a SSN..._


e more më ne fund?  :@pp 

:@rr

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## Larsus

> e more më ne fund?  
> :@rr



it was there all the time....how one uses it, it is a different matter  :rolleyes:

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## ChuChu

To All The Connections I Missed 
Subtitled: Loves of My Life, Chronologically. 

Number 1) Even though you dumped me on Valentine's Day in 5th grade, I wanted to remain your friend and talk to you on the phone. Even though you tried to give me my first open-mouthed kiss, and it was gross because I could only think of you, five years earlier shoving things up your nose, I forgive you. Even though you honestly passed me up for my psycho best friend in junior high, I remained loyally yours waiting to be your dance partner for some Firehouse song at every occasion. You gave me butterflies and heartache of a pre-teen variety. Even though you went off, got happily married and had two babies, all before we were even near 25 years of age, sometimes I still think about kissing you. 

Number 2) You ate my spit from the grass the first time we met. I got my first grounding for being late, while with you. You said we were like rock stars, and wrote letters that made me loose my legs when reading them. For the first time ever, I said I loved you. I remember the time of day, and it still haunts me. You tried to kiss me, thusly startled, I lost my mind from that point forward. You went off and married some really pretty, very nice waitress with a plain name. I don't know what you're doing now, but some nights you are in my dreams: A Scientist, A Preacher, A Student, A Punk, A Marching Band Member...did you know I still have your shoes, ten years later. You are a tumultuous love. Sometimes, I consider stalking you to give them back. You could probably never fill them now, but I still think about kissing you. 

Number 3) You climbed a church wall in tennis shoes, with no rope, to impress me, and also gave me impressive hickies even though you had some kind of lisp. Our first kiss, so unplanned, yet perfectly orchestrated, lead way to many more. We made out under blacklights, in a hot tub, in a thunderstorm, in my mom's house, in the woods, and under a semi-trailer at the county fair. You opened my eyes to beauty in new things, made me appreciate art more, and convinced me I was a poet- or occasionally poetic, at best. All this in a month. Then you came back, three months later, after I had forgotten about the possibility of you. But this was only for a weekend. Years of innocent chatroom flirting and phone conversations ensued, from one coast to the heartland. You are an impermeable love I was never looking for. I've seen you twice since then. Now, nine years later, I still think about kissing you. 

Number 4) Number Four, you were more like a conglomeration of two. One a sultry, hospitable stranger with an accent, long hair and an adorable missing tooth just trying to help me get along while on holiday. My sneeking suspicion is, you were actually married, and that's why I was stood up on what was to be Our Last Date. (ps. We would have kissed a lot, if you'd shown up.) The other an insanely sexy, lanky rockstar powerhouse. Breath of Jack Daniels, leather jacket, big boots, impressive skills of the intimate sort. Both of you were temporary fixes for the lonely times I experienced. Each of you were perfect fits for the given scenarios, both leaving me with mental impressions large enough to on occasion, cause aches... Often times, I think about kissing each of you. 

Number 5) When I first saw you at a band contest in 9th grade, I thought, "He should be my boyfriend." I gave a note to a friend to give to you, "You are the most impressive person I've seen all day." After that, I didn't see you for years, because you had a girlfriend and lived in the city. One day, you came back, and as my best friend dated your best friend, my silent, stealthy stalking began. I got the inside scoop on you, alas! You had broken up with your girlfriend...I began Phase Two: Less Stealthy Stalking -popping in at places you were skateboarding, going to your work, driving by, stopping in. I heard you liked my boots and green pants and the fact I knew what godheadSilo meant. Eventually, having wracked together the nerve, asked you on a date. Having never been on a Real Date, I figured it was only mediocre and chalked the whole thing up to "Experience." Lo and behold, eight years later, you live in a house we co-own and bless me weekly with the domestic pleasures of Laundry and Yard Work. I honestly, couldn't think better of it. I will clean the toilet, if you will do the dishes...You were a love at first sight, always gentle and caring and never let our life give way to tumult, awkwardness, or insanity of the pre-teen variety. I still think about kissing you. 

And so, Dear Loves of My Life, thank you for everything. Thank you for the lasting imprints. Thank you for the love letters, special t-shirts, vials of blood, and other far less creepy gifts. Thank you for lessons taught and learned, for finding room for me in your hearts, and for the interesting kissing techniques. Thanks for everything.

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## Larsus

_I spoke to you for less than three minutes..I don't need more to know you are there, you always be there, my saint, the one that I adore silently, lastingly, lovely..

If i were a narcissist, you would be my image.the perfect one.the one I want to stare at without getting tired, no food, no drink, no breathe....If I had a wish, you'd keep it tight and make it happen,.. if I had eyes, you'd be their light so I could see the real colors of life... If I had hands you'd be my touch, my way of feeling the world...If I had legs, you'd run them in the world for me and you'd touch the sand of paradise...If I had ears you'd listen to the sound of sea, the music of sirens and I'd follow them even if that meant sinking in the deep blue sea..because there is nothing, nothing in this world that works the magic you do so effortlessly 

and beacuse I am not a narcissist, I have no eyes, no ears, no hands, no legs, no heart, no reality, no existence ...without you being. Fully aware of it, I am silent, very silent..beacuse you know all that and more, why the explotation I don't know

the ironical destiny can play with us for as long as you keep ignoring it, and for as long as you keep collecting the unimportant pieces of  your existence in the most unusual places ever, just because you're lost ...and I suffer the vertigo of your shadow

and yet, as lifeless as it is,never had I have this strong feeling of belongness about something or someone before..wonder when will I hear that from your skin_

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## Larsus

_I'm constantly teased by your smell that dances around me and distracts me,
I keep looking what could be the source of this beautiful scent but to no
avail.... just my imagination playing tricks on me ;)_

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## *~Rexhina~*

Well written intriguing thoughts. A very interesting topic i must say Qyfe.

Larsus didn't  consider you the romantic time j/k...you have expressed your thoughts very eloquently, if indeed you are the one who have wrote them.

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## Henri

Did it really have to come this far? I am left only with a thin layer of silhouette embracing my back. Barren, with my shoulders shrunken forward, as though I am ashamed of the decay that's made my lungs its home. I too shrink, facing the "me" you've so painfully thrown right into my face. Its glow is but a striking thunder that crushes my iris into non-existence, so violently making void a part of nature. For I never felt so fluid as to be able to inhabit all the dresses your bursting passion weaved for me. Yet, I hold my breath, never knowing what colour your nakedness will be this time. Not knowing what to wish for anymore, fearing that your awakening might summon the curly tungues of fire into a meak flickering of a burning star. 
Give up the silhouette - being well accustomed to the ability of my flesh to surrender to your very first glance upon it, I pull my only weapon tighter upon its torn eyes. Did I only come this far by contemplating on how to quench your flair for loving the woman, THAT woman? 
And yet, a little mushroom reborn out of the bear's chest, breathing the very first air through the pores of his skin, I chose the stake for everything that was once me, but had overnight grown into paraphernalia. 
Since it really had to come this far, what screeched and roared while burning slightly reddish in the flames of your uncertainty of self, were only soul-shells I had so carefully picked on tourist stands over the years. And the longing for my dissovling into air. 
Give up the silhouette - opal ray splits my lungs in half as my lust chews up the knot that's been depriving my veins from sucking in the breath - your breath. My cum so fluid, that it even makes the night blush, tries on the dresses that your bursting passion has weaved for me. 
white...

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## Larsus

_I get so sad when I think of you, the moments that we did not enjoy together, the life that we are not going to share that sweet, soft touch of your hands with that wondering smile of the eyesthat warmth of being together in such a homey close nearness even if thats of two strange people .and yet, once we depart from each other, our ties, our closeness, our connection/s leaves us in the desperate, lonely, empty place of being far and apart and alien to everything that once was there.

It is like a melody, our melody, our accidental theme, our accidental storyLili was here.You were here..I was hereit was all in the past, nothing projected in the future, all belongs to another time, another life.we are left with the nostalgia of what we could have had, our longing for what never is gone happen, for the lost fantasy hurts in its own dimensions, odd enough, faintly and painful.

Its the end of it, the death of something not yet aged, just imaginedlike sipping the glass of a newly released young wine, tasting its wild youth while enjoying more the thought of how sophisticatedly beautiful, rich, immensely passionate, mondane taste it would developed in its age, in its timethe time that we refuse to givethe sadness of us_

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## Larsus

_
 Its been so long that I havent heard your voice, the fifth day just kicked in. Its been so long I havent gotten lost in the depth of those devilish like eyes, the fifth week its just around the corner. Ever since I have been fused into you, there is nothing else that can be as nearly exciting, vaguely so entertaining, and similarly comforting to what you do to me. Every minute of the day, every second of that minute it is just another dragging torture of my plain meaningless existence without you in it, its another painful push that I have to make towards an unchallenging, empty tomorrow, because of your absence, your choice to be far 

Again came that time of the day, that time of the hour, that fraction of the minute that I am thinking of you, the unknown melody of your love, the negated warmth of your body while slowly and remorsefully chewing the bitter taste of your revengebecause I hurt you, when I didnt mean too, when I didnt want you ..bigger than that, your smallness of not getting over it, bigger than that, the tiny little significance of me in the mirror, wondering why your bigger ego could not get better for once, if not for you, for the sake of that kissfor the sake of believing in it

I thought that time would stop and enjoy with us that last long kiss. It had to be the last one because it was just too good that anything after couldnt keep up with that sweetness, that calm passion..Now I am cursing the very next moment that I left you. If I only stayed, if you only came with me, if we only tried to see the sea deep inside ourselves only to discover that were holding each others dreams, each-others hopes, each-others pain . For when youre in pain, my heart aches, when youre envisioning the future my dreams spread their wings in it, and when you speak of love, I want to be that name 

Now, I am counting restlessly, hopelessly the number of five hundred times I want to run to you, and for the five hundred and fifth time, my heart slides and breaks again in the icy distance that you built around yoursso that you can enjoy your thawed untouchable mirage, I have to utterly pay the price and silently suffer.the passion, the name of it, the sake of it, the tango of oneif only there was a better time to say goodbye, if only we could not leave dreams trapped in your coldness if you only could see what I already believe in...goodbye_

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## Prototype

nice.fare   .....

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## Larsus

_ so thirsty in my quest for what I've lost ..looking at someone else, knowing that is the wrong location, even if so thrill-less, swearing in so many language, shamelessly, it remains the quest for love 

not me speaking, I heard that from someone's heart. What a waste! His love will fill the unknown river of dreamers where I have stopped for a while to catch my breath. Breathless, the others, too.. I feel their pain.....the difference between me and them? they're hopeless, unfortunate victims of their wishes, of their unfullfilled desires that blow their minds with the idea of belongness...and they don't know...that I will never be there....for my heart left me, the moment I stopped to catch my breath 

the moment I ceased to breath through myself and choosed you to breathe for me..what a waiste!!! for them.. I feel their pain..I begged them so many million times, silently, yes, but I did beg them to stop telling how much they really love me ...I can't 

breathe anymore..without you_

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## Larsus

_ too far to be touched, too far to be liked/licked, too far to get a sweet taste of you, (even further far away to get lost in your smell for a tiny little second would have been heaven on earth)  yet too hurtfully painful not to be felt-- the same story again, like I needed  to be reminded once more that my heart can be powerfully destroyed in million pieces each of them hurting in everyway they hurted before some kind of art restoration, even more..

as I dial the phone number on the cold,grey and good looking phone, the long digits smirk at me with an evil corporate face: watch what you wished for-- shouldn't someone already have told us the secret: make the damn  wish right: in the most including and concise way for once, but say it right... 

I can struggle,and argue, and doubt my decisions, and laugh at idiocracies, and enjoy my economist, my friends, my music (yeah, my american express) and eventually complete the arch and meet the requirments of happiness-- but I miss you-in so many ways, for so many reasons, in so different dimensions- 

I don't have to tell you that, you know- we all do when we miss someone that way-- all I want from you is not to tell me that you love me, not to tell me that you need me, not to tell me that your longing for that moment again, and above everything else, I beg of you, do not mention, even remotely or indicate by any chance that you miss me: It hurts the most!!!! 
_

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