# Kultura > Letërsia shqiptare > Krijime në gjuhë të huaja >  Why Women Are Cranky

## Zanë Kosove

Why Women Are Cranky


  We start to "bud" in our blouses at 9 or 10 years
  old only to find anything that comes in contact with
  those tender, blooming buds hurts so bad it brings
  us to tears.  Enter the almighty, uncomfortable
  training bra contraption the boys in school will
  snap until we have calluses on our backs

  Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens
  (or sooner).  Along with those budding boobs, we now
  bloat, we cramp, we get the hormone crankies, have
  to wear little mattresses between our legs or insert
  tubular, packed
  cotton rods in places we didn't even know we had.

  Our next little rite of passage (premarital or not)
  is having sex for the first time which is about as
  much fun as having a ramrod push your uterus through
   your nostrils (IF he did it right and didn't end up
  with his little
  cart before his horse), leaving us to wonder what
  all the fuss was about.

  Then it's off to Motherhood where we learn to live
  on dry crackers and water for a few months so we
  don't spend the entire day leaning over Brother
  John. Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and
  we are), we learn to live with the growing little
  angels inside us steadily kicking our innards night
  and day making us wonder if we're having Rosemary's
  Baby. Our once flat bellies now look like we
  swallowed a watermelon whole and we pee our pants
  every time we sneeze.  When the big moment arrives,
  the dam in our blessed Nether Regions will
  invariably burst right in the middle of the
  shopping, and we'll waddle with our big cartoon feet
  moaning in pain all the way to the ER.

  Then it's huff and puff and beg to die while the
  obstetrician says, "Please stop screaming, Mrs.
  Hear-me-roar.  Calm down and push.  Just one more
  or 10) good push," warranting a strong,
  well-deserved impulse to punch the bastard (and
  hubby) square in the nose for making us cram a
  wiggling, mushroom-headed 10 pound bowling ball
  through a keyhole.

  After that, it's time to raise those angels only to
  find that when all that cute" wears off, the
  beautiful little darlings morph into walking,
  jabbering wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking
  little poop machines.

  The teen years.  Need I say more?  The kids are
  almost grown now and we women hit our voracious
  sexual prime in our mid-30's to early 40's while
  hubby had his somewhere around his 18th birthday
  (which just happens to be the reason all that early
  hot man sex got you pregnant in the first place).

  Now we hit the grand finale: "The Menopause," the
  grandmother of all womanhood.  It's either take the
  HRT (hormones) and chance cancer in those now
  seasoned "buds" or the aforementioned Nether
  Regions, or, sweat like a hog in July, wash your
  sheets and pillowcases daily and bite the head off
  anything that moves.

  Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than
  men when men get off so easy INCLUDING the icing on
  life's cake: Being able to pee in the woods without
  soaking their socks.
  Now I love being a woman but "Womanhood" would make
  the Great Gandhi a tad crabby.
  Women are the "weaker sex?"  Yeah right.

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## Zanë Kosove

Subject: Rules To Make Life Easier 

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS 
Smart man + smart woman = romance 
Smart man + dumb woman = affair 
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage 
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy 

OFFICE ARITHMETIC 
Smart boss + smart employee = profit 
Smart boss + dumb employee = production 
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion 
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime 

SHOPPING MATH 
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. 
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need. 

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS 
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. 
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. 
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. 
A successful woman is one who can find such a man. 

HAPPINESS 
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. 
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand 
her at all. 

Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot 
more willing to die. 

MEMORY 
Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two 
people remembering the same thing. 

APPEARANCE 
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow 
deteriorate during the night. 

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE 
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. 
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does. 

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE 
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after 
that is the beginning of a new argument. 

COMPREHENSION 
There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before 
marriage and after marriage. 

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED: 
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and 
cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing  the 
same thing to them at funerals.

THE DAILY MOTIVATOR
Monday, November 25, 2002

There is a world
+++++++++++++++++++

There is a world where every problem is an opportunity to grow 
stronger. There is a world where the thoughts you think directly 
affect the life you live. 

There is a world where the value you give comes back to you many 
times over. It is a world filled with an abundance of positive 
possibilities and valuable opportunities.

There is a world where who you are and what you do really matters. 
There is a world where you can learn and grow as the result of 
each experience. 

There is a world where even the disappointments and the setbacks 
can help you to move ahead. There is a bright and shining world 
where the living of life really matters.

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## Karamel Eyez

HAHAHA I CANT STOP LAUGHING THEY'RE REALLY COMICAL AND SOMEWHAT TRUE BUT NOT COMPLETELY LOL.. VERY NICE I LOVED BOTH PIECES ESPECIALLY THE ONE ABOUT THE MARRIAGE BUGGING THING, WHERE SHE REPLIES YOU'RE NEXT AT THE FUNERAL! LMAOOO
 :o) CIAOOOOO BELLAA

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## ben-shkodrani

Zan Kosove he trimnesh po shkruj shqip se shkrimi shqip esht ma i miri i botes edhe gjuha shqipe 

po gjithsesi te pershendes edhe ha madreq se jam ty kuptu gja 
shqip si te ka fol baba gjyshi stergjyshi i jot te keqn beni ty

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## Zanë Kosove

Rules For Being Human 

You will receive one body. 
You may like it or hate it, 
but it will be yours
for the entire time you're here. 

You will learn lessons. 
You are enrolled in a full-time 
informal school called life. 
Each day in this school you will have the 
opportunity to learn the lessons. 
You may like the lessons or think them 
irrelevant and stupid.

There are no mistakes, only lessons. 
Growth is a process of trial and error, 
and experimentation. 

A lesson is repeated until learned. 
A lesson will be presented to you 
in various forms
until you have learned it. 

When you have learned it, 
you can then go on 
to the next lesson.
Learning lessons does not end. 
There is no part of life 
that does not contain its lessons. 
If you are alive, 
there are lessons to be learned.

There is no better a place than here. 
When your "there" 
has become a "here", 
you will simply obtain
another "there" 
that will again look better than "here". 

Others are merely mirrors of you. 
You can not love or hate 
something about another person 
unless it reflects to you something 
you love or hate about yourself.

What you make of 
your life is up to you. 
You have all the tools 
and resources you need. 
What you do with them
is up to you. 
The choice is yours.

Your answers lie inside you. 
The answers to life's questions
lie inside you. 
All you need to do is look, 
listen, and trust

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## Zanë Kosove

Don't Quit 

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,

When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,

When care is pressing you down a bit
Rest if you must,
But don't quit. 

Life is strange with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,

And many a fellow turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out.

Don't give up though the pace seems slow
You may succeed with another blow.  

Often the goal is nearer than
It seems to a faint and faltering man.

Often the struggler has given up
When he might have captured the victor's cup.

And he learned too late the night came down
How close he was to the golden crown.  

Success is failure turned inside out
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,

And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems afar.

So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit
It's when things seem the worst
That You Mustn't Quit. 

~By Ben Lief~

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## Zanë Kosove

Strength and Courage


It takes strength to fit in.
It takes courage to stand out. 

It takes strength to feel a friend's pain.
It takes courage to feel your own pain. 

It takes strength to hide your own pains.
It takes courage to show them. 

It takes strength to endure abuse.
It takes courage to stop it. 

It takes strength to stand alone.
It takes courage to lean on another. 

It takes strength to love.
It takes courage to be loved. 

It takes strength to survive.
It takes courage to live.

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## Zanë Kosove

What Failure Really Is



Failure does not mean you are a failure;
It means you have not yet succeeded.

Failure does not mean you accomplished nothing,
It means you have learned something.

Failure does not mean you have been a fool.
It means you had a lot of faith.

Failure does not mean you have been disgraced.
It means you were willing to try.

Failure does not mean you don't have it.
It means you have to do something in a different way.

Failure does not mean you are inferior.
It means you are not perfect.

Failure does not mean you have wasted your time,
It means you have a reason to start afresh.

Failure does not mean you should give up.
It means you must try harder.

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## Zanë Kosove

JUST FOR TODAY... 

..  smile at a stranger 
..  listen to someone's heart 
..  drop a coin where a child can find it 
..  learn something new, then teach it to someone 
..  tell someone you're thinking of them 
..  hug a loved one 
..  don't hold a grudge 
..  don't be afraid to say "I'm sorry" 
..  look a child in the eye and tell them how great they are 
..  don't kill that spider in your house, he's just lost so show him the way 
out 
..  look beyond the face of a person into their heart 
..  make a promise, and keep it 
..  call someone, for no other reason than to just say "Hi" 
..  show kindness to an animal 
..  stand up for what you believe in 
..  smell the rain, feel the breeze, listen to the wind 
..  use all your senses to their fullest 
..  cherish all your TODAYS

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## Zanë Kosove

Power of One, The

One song can spark a moment
One flower can wake the dream
One tree can start a forest
One bird can herald spring
One smile begins a friendship
One handclasp lifts a soul
One star can guide a ship at sea
One word can frame the goal
One vote can change a nation
One sunbeam lights a room
One candle wipes out darkness
One laugh will conquer gloom
One step must start each journey
One word must start a prayer
One hope will raise our spirits
One touch can show you care
One voice can speak with wisdom
One heart can know what is true
One Life can make a difference

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## Zanë Kosove

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE 
                 .....one old love 
                 she can imagine 
                  going back to... 
                 and one who reminds 
                  her how far she has come... 

                  A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE 
                 .....enough money within her 
                   control to move out and 
                 rent a place of her own 
                  even if she never wants 
                 to or needs to... 

                  A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE 
                 ....something perfect to wear if 
                  the employer or date of her dreams 
                  wants to see her in an hour... 


                  A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE 
                 ....a youth she's content 
                  to leave behind... 

                 A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE 
                 .....a past juicy enough that 
                  she's looking forward to 
                  retelling it in her old age.... 

                  A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE 
                  .....a set of screwdrivers, a 
                  cordless drill, and a black 
                  lace bra... 

                  A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE 
                 ....one friend who always makes 
                  her laugh... and one who lets 
                  her cry... 

                 A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE 
                 .....a good piece of furniture 
                  not previously owned by anyone 
                 else in her family... 

                  A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE 
                 .....eight matching plates, wine 
                  glasses with stems, and a recipe 
                for a meal that will make her 
                 guests feel honored.. 

                  A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE 
                  .....a feeling of control over 
                 her destiny... 

                  EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... 
                  ....how to fall in love without 
                 losing herself... 

                  EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... 
                  ....how to quit a job, 
                 break up with a lover, 
                and confront a friend 
                  without ruining the friendship... 

                  EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... 
                 .....when to try harder... and 
                  when to walk away... 

                  EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... 
                 .....that she can't change the 
                  length of her calves, the width 
                  of her hips, or the nature of her 
                 parents... 

                  EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... 
                  .....that her childhood may not 
                  ! have been perfect...but its 
                 over... 

               EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... 
             .....what she would and wouldn't 
                do for love or more... 

            EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... 
                ....how to live alone... even if 
              she doesn't like it... 

            EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... 
               .....whom she can trust, 
              whom she can't, 
                  and why she shouldn't 
                 take it personally... 


             EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW.. 
                .....where to go... 
               be it to her best friend's kitchen table... 
              or a charming inn in the woods... 
              when her soul needs soothing... 


                EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... 
               ....what she can and can't 
                 accomplish in a day... 
                 a month...and a year...

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## Steve

Saint Valentine's day....Good lucky for people in love...!

Roses are red, violets are blue
Sugar is sweet and I love you...!

I want to be near you all the time,
and never say goodbye.
Please, my darling, say you're mine, I'll love you until I die.!

Wake up on this special day,
And read these words from me.
It's not a dream. My love is true.
Look in my heart and see..!

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## Zanë Kosove

In My Eyes, You're A Beautiful Flower

Designed so artfully ~
fashioned by the masters hand
especially for me.
Each petals light shines from your soul
with amazing clarity ~
and I stand in awe and silence
as it gently circles me.
I hear your heart songs whispering
of wonders yet to see ~
true blessings I've been granted
for you share those songs with me.
I'll nurture you so tenderly
with drops of morning dew ~
My dream
to spend eternity.
My Flower ~ Loving You.

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## Steve

Nice a lot nice...where are you from in usa?

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## Zanë Kosove

TWO HEARTS ONE LOVE

When at first, you spoke,
before our eyes ever met,
it kindled a spark within my heart,
which burns ever so warmly yet. 


Something in your manner,
something in the sound of your voice,
opened wide the doors to my heart,
and it seemed, I had no choice. 



Every day, that we've shared together,
every day, that we've been apart,
I have kept you tucked away safely,
in the deepest corners of my heart. 


My first concern each morning,
is to know that you're all right.
And my last thought, before I go to sleep,
is of you, each and every night. 


As when we first walked together,
and ever since our love began,
I cling to your every promise,
as I steadily hold onto your hand. 



You have never walked ahead of me,
You have never placed me far behind.
It is by your side, that I continue to walk,
as we stroll through our journey paths divine. 


We have crossed many rivers together,
None have been only " mine ".
Because we share each step, and breath, we take,
You truly are My Forever Valentine

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## Zanë Kosove

Woman's Prayer

Now I lay me

  Down to sleep.

  I pray the Lord

  My shape to keep.

  Please no wrinkles

  Please no bags

  And please lift my butt

  Before it sags.

  Please no age spots

  Please no gray

  And as for my belly,

  Please take it away.

  Please keep me healthy

  Please keep me young,

  And thank you Dear Lord

  For all that you've done.

 Foot Note:   One saggy boob said to the other saggy boob:
  "If we don't get some support soon, people will think we're nuts."

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## Zanë Kosove

FRIEND



(A)ccepts you as you are
(B)elieves in "you"
(C)alls you just to say "HI"
(D)oesn't give up ! ! on you
(E)nvisions the whole of you (even the unfinished parts)
(F)orgives your mistakes
(G)ives unconditionally
(H)elps you
(I)nvites you over
(J)ust "be" with you
(K)eeps you close at heart
(L)oves you for who you are
(M)akes a difference in your life
(N)ever Judges
(O)ffer support
(P)icks you up
(Q)uiets your fears
(R)aises your spirits
(S)ays nice things about you
(T)ells you the truth when you need to hear it
(U)nderstands you
(V)alues you
(W)alks beside you
(X)-plains thing you don't understand
(Y)ells when you won't listen and
(Z)aps you back to reality

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## Zanë Kosove

"I wish for you..."  


Comfort on difficult days, 
Smiles when sadness intrudes, 
Rainbows to follow the clouds, 
Laughter to kiss your lips, 


Sunsets to warm your heart, 
Gentle hugs when spirits sag, 
Friendships to brighten your being,
Beauty for your eyes to see,  


Confidence for when you doubt, 
Faith so that you can believe, 
Courage to know yourself, 
Patience to accept the truth, 
And love to complete your life.

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## Zanë Kosove

The place to be happy is here.
The time to be happy is now.
The way to be happy
is to make others so.

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## Zanë Kosove

*Pass A Smile.....* 

Smiling is infectious, 

you catch it like the flu.

When someone smiled at me today,

I started smiling too.

I passed around the corner, 

and someone saw my grin -

When he smiled I realized, 

I'd passed it on to him.

I thought about that smile, 

then I realized it's worth,

a single smile, just like mine, 

could travel round the earth.

So, if you feel a smile begin, 

don't leave it undetected -

Let's start an epidemic quick 

and get the world infected!

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